Engagement OFF.......! That's it

I really can't sleep well last nite...and end up woke up really early....mR.Z said he want to change/postpone our engagement date.....! which is really put me off.....ya sy hilang mood...i don't blame him but i feel like all my effort is nothing to him...and somemore things that worried me so much is how to explain this to my parent....i know we can't do anything at this circumstance but my guess ayah of course la dah start simpan kayu api and dah gi tempah nak sewa kerusi meja untuk kenduri hari tuh thus he need to go all over again and change the date....my mum of course la dah ckp kat her frenz untuk dtg tolong pada tarikh tuh....ye lah kg x sama mcm dekat bandar, dkt kg kena war2kan awal2 sbb ramai org nak kawen n we need the tukang masak and jiran2 dtg tolong...tarikh kena chup awal2 so that x overlap ngan org lain...i feel at unease to explain this to them....sy x suka tersepit di tengah...i always have to be in the middle and end up kena tabah ja uruskan kedua2 pihak...me too have to postpone so many things that i've confirmed and booked them....mcm double job kena buat....i don't feel anything good now...bad things is my migraine still haven't heal yet and i keep facing all this....


I don't know what to do and what to think....sy sgt malas nak go through all this....nanti mak bising itu ini and i have to bare with it....kenapa la such a dugaan di saat2 macam ni...so peeps i wouldn't getting engage by March....n mayb not forever sbb sy dah mls....hati yg degil ni dah malas....penat nak atur balik satu2...all the doorgifts, photographer, khemah...all i have to start all over again...owh god kenapa begini...sy x da mood nak tpn vendor2 ni ckp postpone tarikh...sy x suka go through that situation...mR.Z ckp ...call je lah bukannya apa pun....see lagi la sy sedih....for him this is an easy thing but hati ni berat sungguh...


i don't know what to write anymore...i feel like i need a gateway....my brain can't generate anything good at this moment....sy x blh tido mlm...sy x blh concentrate keja...and dia bukannya tahu pun...semua benda senang ja bagi dia....owh ini dah jadi sesi luahan perasaan...anyway this is my blog...

i'm off nak mandi gi keja...